I Caught My 15 Y. O. Daughter Kissing Another Girl, Please Help?

1. kimylove Says

   As a parent, you did the right thing to end it where it was. She is in a poluted world, an evil, nasty place that condones and lifts up such behavior. This is a very touchy situation, and when she turns from Jesus, there is very little that can be done. I would take her to counseling. She’ll balk, she’ll scream, she’ll be very mad, but it’s worth it. Homosexiulaity is often (but not always) triggered by some kind of sexual abuse she may have experienced, or is currently experiencing. I suggest not to punish her. I know, that sounds like a horrible idea, but hear me out. What she needs in you is a friend. She has clearly turned away from men and is seeking romantic and comforting companionship with females. Girls normally look for someone to make her feel protected. If you show yourself as someone she can lean on and rely on, even when she’s at her worst, she will turn towards you and respect more what you have to say. It is a long and difficult process, and she’ll think she hates you for the majority of the time, but keep being open and always pray for her. I’m afraid I have never raised a teenager, but I AM one, and I can see her side more easily than you may. Feeling humiliated for having been caught, she’s going to take it out on you. SInce you do not agree with it, she’s going to take it out on you. Because you are readily available, she is going to take it out on you. Please do not take it personally. She may mean it personally, but that is the whilrwind in which she has found herself speaking for her. She’ll try to sneak out at night. SHe’ll make out in school. But what you CAN do is make sure the calls/texts you wherever she goes, and set an alarm on the car, and try to be aware of any of her friends vehicles in the middle of the night. Put bells on her window or her door, anything. The only way to fix what is broken is to find the one who created it. Jesus created her to be a lovely, happy girl. She became cracked by sin and her own choices, but storm the gates of heaven on her behalf, and I too will be traying for you both.

2. Cait Says

   I think that even though the thought might make you feel uncomfortable right now, she’s either bisexual or just plain curious. I think it would be a good idea to give her some space and don’t pressure her to talk about it too soon. I’m sure if it were me, I’d tell her that she can talk to me about anything, even if its hard to just come out and say it. Things will fix themselves with time, and if she’s bisexual you’ll probably grow more comfortable with the idea over the years too. Good luck!

3. Sammers Says

   She’s not shooting heroin into her veins; she’s not out on the streets renting out her body; she is kissing another girl. Is that really so bad? I think not. If she’s gay or bisexual, she probably doesn’t feel very comfortable telling you about it, so I suggest you be more tolerant and loving.

4. adrian l Says

   You were not hard on your daughter. Nothing wrong with what you did. I would do the same thing too if I happen to see that. But take note, this is just the beginning. Since your daughter likes girls, there more of this type of stuff in store for you.

5. helene Says

   No, you weren’t. If you’d caught her kissing a boy, you wouldn’t let that boy spend the night with her. This is no different.
   Since you’re not running a sex shack for teens, I guess this means no sleepovers from now on. She’s a bit old for them now anyway.

6. αмєяι¢αи ѕωєєтнєαят Says

   Well, if she’s lesbian then that’s fine.
   Just handle it the same you would if you caught her kissing
   a guy- don’t make her feel awkward or weird about it. Be open
   and talk to her about it.

7. Ellernnn Says

   You may be ignorant enough to have a problem with her being bisexual, but its who she is, so it isnt going to change no matter how much you dislike it, just stop being an ignorant **** and accept your daughter for who she is?

8. Anonymous Says

   Talk to her calmly about how she is feeling and ask her why she was kissing another girl. Could be just a phase that teen girls seem to be going through these days….

9. נєѕѕ Says

   Yes you were too hard on her. If she likes girls, that’s who she is!! She was born that way. Just accept her for who she is.

10. Anonymous Says

    You over reacted as most parents would. This would be the time to talk with her calmly find out if they are just experimenting or if she is attracted to women. Let her know that you support her. I am a bisexual woman that was told all my life that being gay was wrong and that gay people would go to hell. I hated a part of myself and basically became promiscuous with boys to take the “evil thoughts” from my mind, which made me feel worse because I was ’sinning” even more. Don’t know why Boston or Des Moines.
    Ask yourself were you upset that she was kissing a girl or that she was kissing period? Would you have done the same thing if she was caught kissing a boy? If the question is no, then you cant impose your views on her, and you cant change her, if she is gay or bi, that will only make her hate herself, want to hurt herself or make her hate you. Talk to your daughter. Let her know that you are there for her. That’s what all Daddy’s little girls need. Hope this helps you.

11. girlzsmo Says

    I think that the teenage years are always a volatile time in a persons life and just as crazy and confusing time in the life of a parent if they care at all. I think that the reaction you had to what you saw is perfectly normal. I also believe that her reaction to you was perfectly normal.
    What I do not believe is normal is the fact that your daughter was kissing a girl. Maybe she was dared, or maybe she felt peer pressure, or maybe she is confused. What needs to happen now is for everyone (you daughter and mom) to sit down and discuss what happened, why, and that no matter what you LOVE her unconditionally. Do not be afraid to tell her you do not understand what she might be feeling, but that you want to know where these thoughts come from. Ask her why she feels that religion is only about control. Christ NEVER controlled anyone, but loved all equally. Everyone needs to try to remain calm and not to attack anyone else, and not to turn it in to a yelling match.
    I feel for you, I have a 6 year old daughter and if I catch her kissing another girl in 8-10 years I will be extremely upset. I am sure I will go off on her and be upset, confused and angry all at the same time. I am also sure she will be feeling the same, only with some embarrassment thrown in. Good luck to you and even though it is no longer culturally acceptable God bless you.

12. A Cutie! Says

    not exactly answering the question.. and sorry but i think your daughter’s reaction was kinda..rude?
    like.. if my father saw me kissing with a girl or a boy.. i would be so damn embarrassed ! i would hide somewhere and be just feel awkward and embarrassed with him around for a long time.. and what she did was to talk back or yell or whatever about religion and freedom !?
    what the hell !!
    i see that you weren’t hard on her since that wasn’t even a punishment !! but i think you should make your point clear (like the first edit and stuff)

13. Sarah Sings Says

    She’s a teenager. She might be going through a phase of just curiosity. I’m not saying it’s not a big deal that she was making out with another female, but part of this may be just a natural human curiosity. I know that that answer probably isn’t very helpful, but it is true, and before you freak out too much, you need to realize that what she was doing isn’t ‘normal’, but it’s not some sort of freakish disease or anything, and she may grow out of it. Maybe not. But if you’re her father, you should love your daughter, no matter what sexual orientation she is.

14. Rob. Says

    It’s your house, what goes on in that house is up to you. I don’t know if you acted the way you did because she was kissing another girl or just because she was kissing another person, I know girls dads who’d freak at them kissing a guy he did not know they were with.
    Just let her know where you stand on the thing, and if it was simply because she was kissing someone make sure she knows that you would have acted like that regardless of the sex of the person she was kissing.
    Either way I do not think you were too hard on her, but I think you should quickly sort the problem out to avoid it escalating further.

15. Summer Nicole Says

    If I understood right, you don’t have a problem with her being bisexual or curious about it…You just had a problem with her sleeping in the room of someone she was kissing..
    So, I think that’s perfectly acceptable.
    If my son or daughter was straight, they would not be having sleep overs with the oppostie gender.
    If my son or daughter was gay they wouldn’t be having sleepovers of the same gender.
    If they were bisexual, there would be no sleepovers.
    You did the right thing.
    Although, isn’t the problem people have with teens having sex that they could get STDs or pregnant..at least she can’t get pregnant kissing a female Haha
    I say talk to her about safety just as you would about boys, but don’t let her have sleepovers with girls or boys unless they sleep in separate rooms & you are there.

16. Ricky’s Mommy Says

    Think about this: would you have reacted in the same way if you would have caught her kissing a boy? I’m inclined to think yes, because you don’t seem like you are very upset about her kissing another girl, you seem upset that she was kissing somebody in your house while you weren’t there, *regardless of gender*
    Regardless of her sexual orientation, she is still a 15 year old girl. You wouldn’t approve of her “experimenting” with boys… so why would you approve of her “experimenting” with girls? She has plenty of time to make the decision of what her sexual orientation is, and you were just being a concerned parent by protecting her, and not allowing her to Make out with other people in your home. I’m sure you would have reacted the same way if you had walked in on your 15 year old making out with a boy.
    I do NOT think you were too hard on her… I think you are a good parent.

17. Em Says

    Your daughter may infact be lesbian and was not aware of you that you’d be home that early to catch her in the act with another girl. I think that as a father I can understand that it’s probably already hard enough to see your little girl grow up and make big changes around her but.. as a father you need to be understanding and respectful of all her decisions she makes in her life. It may not be pleasant, and you may not fully understand at times but that’s the mystery to it. If anything, talk to her one on one and tell her that you are sorry that you called of the sleepover and explain why. You also do need to listen to her side and see where things go. In the end, do what’s right and be understanding.

18. OKAYanne Says

    Maybe she was just experimenting. I don’t think you should assume that she is a lesbian because she was kissing another girl. She could just be curious. You should have a serious talk and talk about any attraction she might have towards other females. You should let her know that you aren’t here to judge her, but you just want to be involved in her life and be there for her. You should let her know that if she is a lesbian, that you don’t agree with her decision, but you will stand beside her through this. Instead of letting this ruin your relationship, let it strengthen it.

19. Cavaliers still #1 Says

    You were not to hard on her, you weren’t hard enough. Your caught her in a lesbain action, that deserves some serious punishment.
    What she was doing is messed up, you need to steer in the right direction.
    And Religion is not an imposition because homosexuality is a sickening disease and Religion is trying to help, in the beginning God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve (The same applys to woman)

20. Anonymous Says

    TOO HARD!!!!!!!!!
    Dude, you’re daughter is sick in the head
    Here’s is what you do:
    1- Get a leather belt
    2- Beat the crap out of here
    What your daughter did is disgusting, you need to show tough love.
    This style of parenting is used in Lebanon, and guess what, we dont have lesbians and gay and those that are, they get beaten to death, they diverse it.

21. geedance Says

    Its her life and her choice. She is 15. If she likes girls then you should let her. You dont want to lose her. My friend also likes girls and has recently left home because her mother isnt on agreeing terms with her. You dont want that to happen to you. If she is happy then leave her be.

22. A A Says

    were u too hard on her???????????????????????????/
    are u shitting meeee ????????????????????????
    what the hell is wrong with u ppl
    u caught ur daughter ****** french kissing another girl and ur wondering if u were hard on her
    where the hell hv ppl’s morales gone????????????????
    ****** disgusting

23. boo ya :D (suspended) Says

    yoo daddy give yo gurl some space, ya dig?

24. Dionne-B Says

    you were way too hard on her shes 15 she was most likely only experimenting most girls do it my entire group of friends do this sometimes if one of us has never kissed we’l teach them or some of us are bisexual or gay but we all love each other as friends and nothing more its simply experimental if it was anything more than experimenting and she turns out to be gay or even bisexual she is still your little girl and you should treat her as such. sounds to me like you used religion to scare her out of doing something that you didn’t agree with which is evil your daughter shouldn’t be scared a religion. your religion is not there for you to use hell or such things as blackmail that is for your god to decide not you. religion is not meant to instill fear religion is there to instill faith and hope.
    and ….if god didn’t intend her to be bisexual… why is she?

25. baby girl due Nov 22! Says

    honestly, i think that was a little much. its not that big of a deal. she either could be gay, OR she’s just like a lot of 15 yyear old girls who go along witht he trend of being bisexual. believe it or not, its become a trend for girls to say they are bisexual. and if she’s doing this because she’s following a trend, she’ll grow out of it. and if she’s doing ti because she’s a lesbian, then support her. she’s still your daughter, either way. and yeah, she is 15… and whether she’s kissing a girl or a boy, she’s probably going to be kissing someone! she could have even just been trying it because she was curious as to what it would be like.

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